As Independence Day dawns on the horizon, it got me thinking about my wife and her foreign upbringing. Marrying a foreigner is something I’ll never do again because I’m so happy with the first one! Here are my five reasons why I’m so satisfied with my wife that I will never marry a foreigner again.
I realize we don’t go out and look for “foreign” spouses and wives. I never in a million years imagined I would find a Mexican princess. I grew up in the least Mexican of all places, the upper-Midwest. On the frozen tundra, fighting 80 below wind chills and scraping solid ice off my windshield for six months a year, the furthest thing from my mind was marring a foreigner someday. As Mr. Gump says:
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.
So, alas, here we are. Now I am amply qualified to make a great list of reasons why I will never marry a foreigner again.
Reason #1: Marrying a Foreigner is a Great Way to Gain Weight.
Have you noticed your weight dropping uncontrollably?
Do you need some protein powder?
How about some weight gainer?
Nope. I’ve got a solution: Go marry a Mexican.
They love to cook, have the best food in the world (It’s scientifically proven if you ask a Mexican) and, at least my wife, are overly concerned with whether you have eaten enough. I’m proof positive you could expect at least 20-30 lbs of enjoyment out of their cooking in year one. Enjoy!
Reason #2: Marrying a Foreigner Helps You Make FriendsEx-pat communities are tight-knit. This goes for ex-pat’s from other countries in the United States. I know maybe 1% of our towns population, however I know 75% of the Mexican population. We stick together, us wanna-be Mexicans and the real ones; as long as you’re connected to a real one! Language is a strong tie, and that tie leads to relationships! Speaking of language…
Reason #3: Marrying a Foreigner Makes Any Language The Easiest Language to Learn
If you want to learn a language, go fall in love with someone who doesn’t speak yours. All of the elements are there:
- Exposure – Love birds never want to be apart!
- Motivation – This one is self-explanatory, I hope…
- Practice – People who are dating never stop talking… it’s like constant language practice. And it’s free! Well, kind of…
Reason #4: Marrying a Foreigner Gives You Legal Practice
Ever gone through the immigration process? If you have, I’m sorry. If you haven’t, you don’t know what you’re missing. We’re about 90% of the way through and man is it a blast. Obviously working with the government in any capacity is fantastico to the highest degree, but the immigration people are the best. La migra is your friend.
You get to print off a thousands pieces of paper, talk to a lot of machines, correct things that aren’t wrong only to re-correct them to be right again, and then get questioned as to why you did it. It’s like paradise… if paradise were nauseatingly tedious.
Reason #5: Marrying a Foreigner Instantly Makes You Feel Smarter
If you’ll notice, I wrote “feel smarter.” It doesn’t actually make you smarter… but perception is reality, right? Works for me. My wife was studying for the immigration exam and she was asking me the questions while we were on a car ride. I was batting like .750, which is probably horrible for an American, but she was completely impressed with my vast knowledge of my own country. I’m so good at being an American and these little things amaze her. What most people would consider trivial nothingness blows her mind every time. It’s awesome. I feel like the smartest person in the world…
Are You Asking Yourself: Should I Marry a Foreigner?
Sure. This isn’t a marriage blog, nor am I an expert, but I’d probably put a few things in front of “foreigner” on the priority list. However, if you’re smitten with that Slovak or giddy for the German, in the immortal words of Nike, just do it! It’s a fantastic experience and those that have married foreigners can probably relate… those that haven’t can only dream!
Married a foreigner? Marrying a foreigner? Comment below and share your story! We love stories to share stories here.
photo credit: mrsdkrebs
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